a sleepless night
Thursday, December 21, 2006 @ 7:02 AM
heys.
i dunno why but i cant get to slp omg my eyes are straining because im typin in semi dark. hahah alot of stuff on mind plus it is really cold here haahha.
yups. suddenly i felt werid. hahah. and the scenes kept floating in my mind. i felt like some kid doing something wrong and is afraid of the scolding from papa and mama. hahahah.
everything seemed so unfamilar to me when i stepped in there. smoky stinky is my 1st impression. i hate de smell. haahah. i wonder hw can ppl enjoy in such an atmosphere. lols. maybe im not cut out to be there ahahha. gd or bad? haha.
yups. and it seemed like a fire break-out to me outside and rioting. lolss. yeas. hahah. im still de simple me. hahah. but it is actually okie haha but still i had restrictions on myself still.
haha. thinking of the individual project. i wanna faint. its very hard man. i could feel my stomach rolling. yeas. hais. haaha.
i think i really need some guidance.
to where i wanan go. which way. myself. my identity. hahaha. sometimes im really afraid of losing myself. but changes are good? or bad?
lolss. sometimes life can be so contradicting. and everytihng lies between a thin line. haha. sometimes making me complicated too. what did i want?
do i enjoy now or later. ahhaha. i think life isnt as simple as i tot. ahahah. friends can be selfish. suddenly im afraid of losing the grip. haha.
dunno why am i thinking this way. suddenly i feel that im so insecured. haha. everyone seems to be not so easy.
yeas lors. hahah. im thinking of learning dancing and going back there maybe i might feel better afteralll. haha. but do i really want an exciting life or jus a contented life. haha. its contradicting you know. because you won;t gain anything until u lose something.
hahaha. omg. i cant believe im crapping early in the morning. I jus hope to return to my godma's there..returning to the simple world im living.