never wanna hear you say goodbye.

have you ever feel this way before.



i cant keep bottling those feelings up im all stressed up. pardon my emo entries because i really have no better outlets to relieve those tightup feelings.

warning: don continue to read unless you prepare to read a whole chunk of incoherent writings. im still feeling dizzy.

yesterday was the last day for the australian fair at taka. yes i made it through. Mixed feelings. On one hand, I slapped myself for being angry/disappointed at her. On the other hand, I finally realised how ppl can be so self-centered and irresponsible.

I have no choice but to work. Supposedly, i work today but it was cancelled i guess since there was no news about the work. Oh man, stop giving me those last-min stuff.

have you ever feel that you are all alone?
im so afraid. im so so afraid.

the closing part was the worse thing of all.
i did everything by myself when others have at least 2 to 3 person who helped them out.
i dunno how to say what to say. but its a terrible feeling when you are on your own and everyone is watching and nobody is helping.

i began tearing off the price tags. fortunately i had took them off earlier. despite that i was the last to go because Im the only one who was doing everything myself. Maybe it seemed easy for you to put all the stock into the respective boxes, stock take, do the cashier closing, trying to find boxes and stuff to contain the items, and so on.

but i realised why others need more than 1 person. besides those manual work, human need moral support.

you cant imagine the stress when everyone is moving so fast and you are all alone, uncertain whether you will make it through by yourself.

you cant imagine how stressed i am to fight the fear im facing.

i guess i was the only one who perspired. lol. i dun even know until aunty honey told me. they were so angry with my boss. My boss, was the only supplier who was not present. I, was the only one who did everything except moving the stuff to the lorry.

i am really happy because i know that i have become stronger and theres nothing i cant do by myself. that includes, walking up to the empty floor where there is no single soul around, searching for the stupid loading bay.

those slack security were so kuku la. they told me the wrong direction deliberately. How do I know? Because i got Dennis over there, Den i realised waht they told me was wrong. It made me walk up and down the stagnant escalator in the dark.

Reason why? jus because my co's delivery man was hot tempered and quarrelled with them. WTH? cant they be more professional or something? It was alrd 11pm and i was Stucked At TAKA jus because they were not professional. I even saw a guy eating MACDONALD NUGGETS and USED HIS DIRTY HANDS TO TOUCH THE CONSIGNMENT PAPER WE HANDED TO HIM.

oh. i feel like boxing him up down left right.

but it also taught us a lesson, NEVER ever fight with security you will never win because they are the kings when taka closed for business. even dennis has no say. so you think. better stocked up some nuggets if you wanna get out of the bloody place faster.

yes i was the last.

its like a nightmare to me. it kept flashing in my mind. and i couldnt slp despite my exhausted body. my back was super achy because i had to bend all the time when i was doing the stock.

I don look good at all. not at all without the makeup adn with spects on. and those stress and all. gawd i got dark eye circles!

and my eyecandy saw the worst side of me. ;(
so sad. but thats another case la. well i was glad at least at least there was someone, dennis was a great help. or else we could jus camp over there. You know what the security said? HE SAID HE WANTED TO COUNT THE STOCK BEFORE WE CAN GO. AND HE SIMPLY HAD NO INTENTION TO COUNT THEM.

so tell me how can we go home?

so we jus ignored him and dennis asked me to go home 1st.

yeah so having eyecandy doesnt help. they will be the one to go if when such thing happen.

i took a look at my watch 1125pm.

I shouldnt be bothered by her feelings. I wonder, whats true?
You can jus leave me alone to handle all these craps.

earlier i was still thinking oh man, i must be so bad to give you cold replies and all.

oh my, I felt so foolish. You were happily shopping and all and I was there Clearing ALL THOSE MESS. i cant see any link.

From teh start, I have to help to pick up those pieces. yes. so at the end of the day, I was still the only one who cleared up those stuff.

whats happening. I still think i din care abt your feelings. Oh, which is which?

working from 930am to 930pm was no joke. plus theres no break. unless you count those 10mins break in. extended hours 930 to 1030 or even later for consecutively two days. and friday and sat are the busiest days of all.

i felt like a fool. Why am i so softhearted. what for I took on the responsibility which is not mine in the first place.

BAck home, i have to listen my dads scoldings. abt those stuff. JUST NOW, 5mins ago, I raised my voice and he was unhappy. STOP TALKING TO ME. CAN YOU SEE IM ALRD DYING.

so he kept asking me to do things that i don wan. I HATE IT.

he refused to pick up the phone after that. WTH. he thought its mine.
AND guess what, he went speechless when the call was for him.

WTH?

cant you take a pity on me?

s hi tong.
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